There is no sight more beautiful than one of a happy woman, like a hot breeze on a cold night, like a radiating sun in the midst of winter; it is a vision to behold.
It is never about how wide her smile is but the glow of her eyes, the confidence of her walk, her aura.
Some men are simply so clueless and not-in tune with their surroundings, so much so that the misery of their spouse goes unnoticed. They miss the signs, like irritability, indecisiveness, daydreaming, and coldness. The more her unhappiness goes unaddressed and fixed, the harder it will be to remedy it.
If you strongly believe in the saying “Happy wife, happy life”, then for your own benefit you need to do whatever it takes to bring yours back to life.
We didn’t use the expression, “bring her back to life”, very loothly. Some people are alive for lack of dying, the fire in them dimmed; they buried the pieces of their shattered dreams and walked away. Here is how to revive her “joie de vivre”.
On an Emotional Level
Build trust: The key element in any type of relationship is trust. If there is none, there won’t be any emotional nor physical bond. If she isn’t blindly confident that no matter what she’ll always be your one and only, if she doesn’t think you are a sincere man, no amount of words, promises, could ever be believed. If you failed her every test, proved you weren’t trustworthy, showed a huge amount of discrepancy between what you claim and what your actions show, it will be challenging to change her perception of you.
Love her: You only love what you understand. She has to feel understood and known in order to feel loved. Pay attention to her every detail, make sure to remember everything and anything she tells you. Analyze and focus to understand. As the quote goes, in the end we will conserve only what we love; we will love only what we understand.
Alone time: How are you supposed to keep the bond alive if you don’t create intimacy by confiding in her what you wouldn’t confess to your own shadow? The more alone time you spend with her, the more you’ll connect with her emotionally and intellectually. Make sure to plan lunches, dinners, couple spa sessions, sitting by the sea,… any well planned outing will do. Be sure to plan conversations ahead of time, in order not to let silence settle between you two.
Focus on her: When she walks in, tune others out, even your kids if you have any. The more you make her feel seen, the less inclined she’ll be to vanish. The more you defend, endorse, and prioritize her, the more she’ll feel protected and confident.
Don’t sleep on it: Solve discord on the spot. Keep your relationship healthy. If during a fight, you find yourself thinking how much you love her, kiss her, she might try to push you away, at first, but your love will disarm her in no time. You can manhandle her with passion and love, to diffuse her.
Be the man of her dreams: There are qualities that she admires, people she holds in great regards, reflect on that. Maybe you’ll learn something from it. Women don’t admire those who annoy, disappoint, or trigger them, they appreciate those they see as commendable.
Be stable: Moody unstable men are tiring. They inspire distrust and resentment. Be stable and consistent in your words and actions.
Build her up to earn her gratitude and respect: Help her achieve her goals. Think of ways to build her up rather than tear her down. If you are an ambitious and relentless man, an achiever, someone she can rely on without follow-ups, a man who gets the hard things done rather than the easy tasks that an infant can do, then you have her respect and gratitude. If for example, she wants to diet but is failing at it, put her on one without her noticing; start preparing healthy food, pack her breakfast and lunch. If for example, she lacks motivation to go to the gym, enroll both of you in one and drag her with you even, follow her pace in order for her to increase it to match yours. If you are in a power position and she is stuck in a dead-end job, find her new opportunities or make one by launching a joint-business. Be entrepreneurial, be a leader even at home.
Be tactful: If she is talking about her awful day, you don’t have to tell her about how awesome yours was. If she is confiding in you, don’t turn the conversation around and make it about you. Not everything should be about you, because although she might not tell you, these actions are very distasteful.
Thoughtful gifts: They are indicators of how well you know your wife’s taste and body and how much she is worth for you as well as how generous you are . If you are able to choose something that fit her perfectly, something that you long to see her wear, she’ll feel desired and well thought of. Try to surprise her at work with flowers and gifts of all sorted (doesn’t matter what type), the enthusiasm of her colleagues will make her feel proud and envied.
On an Physical Level
In order to play the part one has to look the part: Let me explain it to you, you won’t find a geek playing a James Bond role, nor will you find someone who looks like a hairy shimp or pregnant woman playing the role of Romeo. If you are handsome then the odds are in your favor, if not, then you need to level the game-up by becoming a savvy classy dresser, an impeccable man with a great sense of hygiene. You are not asked to become a model, however, you need to be proportionally built. You can’t act like Rambo, if you have a skimpy body; you need to at least have the basics. James Bond isn’t extremely buff however he has a lean hairless body, a classy walk and masters the art of talking. Your allure is your business-card.
This is an important point, as you’ll have to play the part of a romantic yet manly lover in order to bring your wife back to life.
Make love to her not sex: There is a big difference between the two. You have to know how and when to touch her, how to please her, how to induce a pulse in her soul. You have to understand that, even the toughest woman is at her weakest when she is intimate with you. She is putting herself in your hands, relinquishing her control to you. Either you can turn the experience into a robotic marital duty or you can make it a soulful experience. As you are sleeping with your wife, love her with all your heart and every fiber of your soul. Sometimes touching her the right way, cuddling with her, kissing her like there is no tomorrow, are enough to warm her heart. Be insatiable of her, love her as often as you desire but take into account the mood and timing. Be careful not to get her pregnant; it will be the end of you in her eyes. She’ll think that it was your ulterior motive all along.
Be Wild:
- At Home – Be daring: Make love to her in every corner of the house, whether on your desk, the carpet, or shower. Be inventive and genuine in your lust for her. Don’t fake it.
- When Out With Friends/Family:
- Slip her naughty notes.
- Whisper in her ear what you are going to do to her when you return home. Your burning desire for her and the anticipation for what to come will spice things up.
- Let your hands wonder discreetly on her back or legs.
- Hold her very close to you, every-time you desire her, so that she feels her effect on you.
Be extremely subtle; don’t get her in an awkward position, even if she is your wife, she still has a reputation to maintain. Therefore be sure no one notices your actions.
There was a time when you knew the road to her heart, after all you ended up marrying her. Now is your chance to find your way back home.
The Interviewer Mag 