The Pursuit of Happiness at Work

Much like Ulysses , humans are in constant pursuit of happiness; It is the basic drive that keeps them able to perform and survive their hardships.

We spend most of our lives working, secluded, in shared offices, deprived from any kind of freedom, working for the greater good of an employer.

Being emotional creatures, what most bosses fail to understand is that employees do not work for corporations but for people. The army is a prime example of that.

In his seminar on “why leaders eat last”, British author and motivational speaker Simon Sinek, mentioned a soldier, by the name Johnny Bravo, whose devotion was fueled by the certainty that his superiors were as devoted to him as he was to them. He also spoke of captain Swenson who risked his life saving members of his brigade, animated by utter love and care for those he was in charge off. The common denominator between Bravo and Swenson, is not a shared cause but trust and love in one another. The bond between subordinates and their superiors was so strong, that it impacted positively their loyalty and optimized their performance.

This goes to show that the happier people are, in an environment, the more in tune they are with their superior, the more they are willing to give.

The quickest way to demotivate a great performer is to treat him like a regular one, equate him with all the other deadweight within an establishment.

Compliments are pleasant to hear, but as intelligent beings, we tend to focus more on actions rather than words. A boss can praise his subordinates all day, applaud them in public, but all of this means nothing if not translated into actions. If he doesn’t empower, favor, reward and promote his top performers, why would they continue to give their all?  It is naïve to believe that employees are required to be utterly devoted to a boss’s welfare when he doesn’t care about theirs. A salary is a transaction, a duty, not a sign of care.    

Most bosses believe that catering to employees’ wellbeing and feelings is a waste of time. It is all about the bottom-line, keeping their business afloat and growing their fortune. In their opinion, investing time in something unprofitable like employees is futile. After all, they are not in the “feel good” business, as some would put it. To them, staff is just paid labor, replaceable, easy to discard, ponds that they can move around as they please to win in the chess game of business. To most, an employee is their partner in loss but never in gain.

Simon Sinek, once said, “Happy employees ensure happy customers. And happy customers ensure happy shareholders – in that order. It is the leader that sets the tone of his organization, when he behaves like a great parent, who wants to provide his own with great opportunity, education, build their self-confidence, give them the chance to try and fail, all so that they achieve more than they could have imagined themselves”. 

Given that people spend most of their lives working, it is quintessential for them to be happy. They might be able to endure unhappiness for a certain amount of time, but eventually, they will snap, their performance starts to plummet, their attitude changes and the boss loses the opportunity to get the best out of his human resources. As Simon Sinek, once said, it is essential that every manager, strive towards creating a work place in which people feel safe, happy and inspired. In his vision for a better world, it is the collective duty of the leaders of the industry to create such a place for others so that they end up fulfilled.

A Memorable Night

What goes into making a memorable night? It might seem like a very simple and easy question to answer but not quite.  Many elements play into creating the ultimate night.

The inner mood or state of the person plays a determining part. The company and the quality of conversation are also a determining factor. The level of preparation, efforts and planning that goes into making anything successful also are proof of caliber.

To simplify it, could an athlete win a marathon if he did not train and prepare well beforehand? So why would a night have any meaning if it wasn’t well prepared and the mood set a long time before? Men, in general, became too lazy. While long ago, they used to know the value of courtship, now the bear minimum make them feel entitled to something in return. Paying for a date, buying lavish gifts, doesn’t necessary imply a reward. It is not a business transaction. It is an emotional bond that needs to be well planned and forged with time.  

Many scenarios could easily be considered ideal. Some good food, great mood, and exciting conversation are enough to make an outing fun. Sometimes, all is takes is sitting in a nice hotel room by the window side savoring a good pizza or a burger while engaging in a fun conversation with your friends, basking in the knowledge that each of them are healthy and happy after having spent an adventurous day exploring a new area.

Sometimes, it is simply sharing a night after a long day at a rejuvenation spa where you both came out feeling refreshed, happy and the best version of yourself. Perhaps, it is sitting on a deserted, beautiful beach, sipping some pink champagne on a cool day, whilst enjoying some quick bite, listening to your friends engage in a great conversation.

When it comes to romance, the ideal night can not really be limited to a simple answer. The reason being that, a romantic night is the business card of a man. It shows you the depth of his love for you, how well he knows you, his level of creativity and planning, it shows you his proactiveness, his determination to succeed, his willingness to achieve. Everything about that night is a tell all. From his choice of attire, to the destination, to the gift he has picked, to the card he has chosen and even the pen he wrote the note with. In the end, losers try, winners succeed, this is a fact applicable in all aspects of life.

Few years ago, a colleague of mine, had an incredible Valentine’s surprise at the office. It started off with having roses delivered to her work station every hour and when there was no place left for her to sit, then came a huge box filled with lavish gifts. Everyone’s jaw dropped as they saw what he had bought her; some even questioned his sanity as he entrusted the box to be delivered to the office. At first, we all thought that he was making up for being abroad on Valentines Day. We were mistaken, he surprised her, on her way out of the office, as he came directly from the airport.
I read once about a husband, who with the help of his wife’s boss, was able to kidnap his spouse from work directly to the airport to enjoy a surprise getaway.

A great night is somewhat similar to love making. It is never about acrobatics, gadgets and positions, it is all about preparation, great timing, intuition, and the ability to really satisfy. As the man takes the lead, a woman is at her most vulnerable in this situation, so he can either succeed brilliantly or fail miserably. A great lover knows how to use his guts, his hands and his lips; he knows how to revive her with a simple touch. He is able to make her feel desirable and wanted. Stamina is only important when it comes to proving how healthy the man is. After all, a man’s charm is not only in his handsomeness. it is a major turnoff to be with a man with endless health problems, having someone midway become ill or be forced to stop because he suffers from acid reflux, weak bladder or heart problem, is not only a buzz kill but a death sentence to the whole relationship. In the end, a woman wants a rock to lean on, not a weakling or a health patient.

The bottom-line of any great night, is having those involved, whether friends or lover, happy, content and in a great shape.

Always Choose Generosity Over Any Quality

One can turn a-blind-eye to many vices but one, stinginess, as it is the mother of them all. Whether choosing a friend or a boyfriend, a lover or a husband, never commit the cardinal sin of choosing a stingy person.

Even on a platonic level, you are better off with a person who would lavish you rather than one who would embarrass you with nauseating tightfisted tendencies.

Generous people are an asset; they will make you look good in any context. Their impeccable allure, their extravagance, their overzealous behavior, inspire admiration and respect. You’ll feel proud being linked to them on any level. That is why Greek philosopher Aristotle, associated generosity to magnificence and nobility, stinginess to deficiency. There is a sense of superiority and leadership that comes with generosity.

Plentiful with their emotions, support, and love, they offer the transparency and consistency that stingy people lack. That is what makes them reliable.  American poet Walt Whitman once said “Behold I do not give lectures or a little charity, When I give I give myself.”    

Workaholics by nature, pursuers of wealth not for the sake of greatness, but as a mean to an end. After all, in order to be generous, one has to secure the appropriate funds to entertain such inclinations. They seek rather than wait for things to go their way, they might fail, but they’ll never stop trying.   

Generous people may not have deep pockets but they act as if they have. Ambitious, pragmatic, fun and creative, their presence makes you feel like royalty, proud and happy to be associated with the finest individuals life has to offer. Their behavior is out of conviction and pride never for gain.  

As the French novelist Marcel Proust once said, there is a certain sweetness found in generosity that cannot be found in any other quality.  

The Secret Circle

We go through life like Ulysses, lost, unable to find our way back.  Sailing through unchartered waters, not knowing what lies ahead. Blind and oblivious to what might be in stored for us. With odds against us, and storms ahead of us, one has to take a good look at his sail mates.

There are two types of people: Those who make things happen and those who talk the talk but never walk the walk. The talkers are good entertainers, the does are rainmakers, and they are a force of nature. Remember, the more reliable and loyal people you have on board, the more likely you will sail smoothly through life.

The doers are generous by default; they do what they have to, to get you where you need to go. Their priority is to have you deck safely even if they have to fight you to get you there. Results are their compass and the only language they know; they auto-evaluate themselves on this basis. They have learned, long ago, that words and promises are as worthless as those who utter it. That is why they rarely compliment and seldomly promise.  

If making love is proof of physical attraction, trust is a statement of worth and value. Like friendship, it is made of levels. You can trust someone with small matters but not with big ones, and in that lies all the difference. Without utter trust, there can never be a solid relationship of any kind. How will you entrust someone with your life, love, friendship, if, they did not prove themselves worthy!

Furthermore, you need on board, the confidante, the person you seek when you find yourself losing control amidst the storm. That is the kind of person, who does not only listen in silence, motionless, he knows how to handle you and take the pain away. If listening without interacting were of any value, one would talk to the wall. At least, objects can’t betray. The confidante is a good listener but also a soul healer. It is someone who is able to take the pain away with his understanding and response. He subsides the storm and calms the waves. This person actually cares about what you have to say and has general interest in you.

You also need the enthusiast, the one who is always in your corner, always cheering you on, the kind of person who is an awe of things you do because he believes in you. He follows your every move out of genuine interest and care. He is not a dream sabotager, he is quite the contrary, and he doesn’t only support you but finds ways to actually help you succeed.

The constant, is also a great asset. The kind of person who is always on deck. Reliable, present and always in the moment. Focused and relentless, they are the qualities of loyal generous souls.

In the end, the most important questions you need to ask yourself are: Who do you run to when hope is bleak? Who lifts the load off your shoulders when things start weighing you down? And most importantly who makes you happy when nothing does? Remember, it is the easiest thing to make someone smile but it is extremely difficult to make them happy.

If these kinds of people are not around you, don’t despair, you still have yourself. When you have no one to confide in, you’ll realize that the only good listener you really need is: you. Why? Well simply because no one knows and understands you better than yourself. When no one is there to do the lifting, dust yourself off, and go. It is true however, that sailing alone into the big unknown makes things extremely tough, and makes survival difficult, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it is impossible.

Escaping Reality’s Cluth

Humans tend to be escapists by nature, some more than others. Few search for what anchors them whilst others do not deck unless they find their ultimate refuge; their human haven.

Usually commitment-fobs do not like things or places that tie them down by force; they always need to know that they can bail at any time. They usually watch things through if they so choose.

So when being forced into an environment or situation they despise, they become emotionally drained and often shutdown.

You can easily spot escapists as they always seek to sit near a window and they often gaze outside in a desperate attempt to free their mind from the people surrounding them. It is their mental attempt to mute those around them and walk away at will.

Athenian philosopher, Plato , once described ideas to be similar to fluttering birds in the brain. As we know, birds fly away when sensing danger or in the midst of chaos. They would never settle unless there is calmness and a prominent sense of security. Staring out the window offers such an opportunity.

Escapists live the moment when it is worth savoring not when they find themselves prisoners of circumstances. Like those in jail, escapists long for escape, not for lack of freedom, but because of their inability to leave in certain circumstances. They would not do that, if they were in an environment they enjoy or in the company of someone who amuses them or procures them positive feelings.  

They go inwards when the situation starts to feel dull and constraining. Just like commitment fobs, they dread doing a fatal mistake that would cost them their happiness. They have no problem staying fateful nor fear relationships but the thought of being trapped against their will, or constrained to do what would break their soul, renders them nervous. For example, in their eyes, picking the wrong spouse would be far worth than a prison life sentence.    

Escaping is a survival mechanism that helps people stay alive when endangered. There are many forms of escaping emotionally and mentally, some dream, others walk-away, read, watch TV, listen to music..etc.

You surely have heard someone experiencing a happy moment say that they dread sleeping, fearing to realize that it was all a dream. Same thing goes for escapists; they would never phase out if they find themselves in a pleasurable moment and environment.

Escapists need time to recharge when they are in presence of people or situations that drain them. If the soul warmth they seek can’t be found around them, their only option is turning inwards. They are their own salvation if there is no hero around. They will standup and dust-off when no guardian angels are there to do the lifting for them. They hold their ground as strong as a tower looms through the drizzle facing winter storms. They zone out escaping through a window, as their eyes see a different world while they hear the sounds of their thoughts as they resonate like church bells in their minds.

The Golden Entourage

Some people bring the best in you whereas others the worst. The world might not revolve around you and you are far from being the center of the universe, however it is always wise to surround yourself with supportive, resourceful and result oriented people. Why fill your life-slots with deadweights or part-timers?! They will only take space that would be better filled by someone useful.

It is neither about: kindness nor wealth nor success in life. You have people with great jobs and salaries that are as stingy as could be thus are a pest to be around; you have good people at heart that only know how to talk yet can never serve you in anything worth the wait. Therefore, it is  simply about personality.

Pick those who push you to be the best version of yourself; those who will cheer you on to the finish-line, those who know you extremely well. They are the ones who want you to look fancy, act powerful and reach your full potential. They don’t only coach you or show you the way, they open doors for you. To reach you, one would have to go through them.

This kind of people always find a way, they are relentless, they achieve rather than make believe. Keep the talkers at bay, they are not made of a lasting material, they are merely “visitors” in your world. Achievers are generous and fun, they are far from being boring, they constantly surprise you, and always rise to the occasion. Most importantly, they do not offer moral support; they fix whatever is causing you moral distress. Simply because they despise words, they rather take actions.

Perfection is hard to achieve, it is merely impossible to cross path with someone who could fit all your requirements, however some people have flaws that are worth putting up with. Some imperfections like shadiness or stinginess are not tolerable regardless of the outcome but others are totally worth tolerating for the greater benefit they bring to your life.

Love Caught On Fire

Soaring and exhilarating as it rages through one’s veins, blazing like ravaging fire, consuming everything on its path such is passion: love intensified to the extent of awaking all one’s senses.

It is perhaps the most adrenaline-charged emotion ever experienced by a human being. The term implies a fondness mixed with romance and lust.

Passion can’t strive where there is no admiration and physical attraction, not even love can.

When a tornado meets a volcano, the spark that ensue is passion. Their love for one another is unquenchable, their desire insatiable, they drown in each others eyes. It is obvious, in the way they brush against each other, and in their smile.

The minute that they are together, the world seems to fade away, silently into nothing.  No matter how toxic or painful it gets, neither can walk away, they are hostages of a love caught on fire.

According to French philosopher, art critic, and writer Denis Diderot, “passion is an inclination, desire and aversion carried to a certain degree of intensity as to inhibit all practice of personal freedom, a state in which the soul is in some sense rendered passive”.

Passion is only a two seats power-ride. According to Ph.D Susan Krauss Whitbourne, it withers and dies once kids and marital duties start creeping into the relationship.

Passion is full of life, once caged it dies of boredom, strangled by dullness and mediocrity.

Expert Elaine Hatfield and her collaborator Susan Sprecher, developed a scale to measure passion. The intense emotion has three measurable facets:

1. The Cognitive component: Being very preoccupied with your partner, wanting to know him completely and idealizing the relationship.
2. The Emotional component: Being, extremely, attracted to your partner. Being impacted to the core when things are going well, ravaged when things are bad, and seeking an everlasting union.
3. The Behavioral component: Trying relentlessly to know how your partner feels; always helping him, constantly doing him favors and being physically close to him.

Sometimes passion is so strong that it ensues pain, because emotions are flaring, self-restraint is not part of the equation and abandonment is not even an option.  However, one can’t deny that despite it all, it makes one feel alive.

Hostage perhaps of a love that burns so strong that it can destroy both partners yet, truth be told that if they were to die, they would be the only ones who truly have lived.

In The Grips of Beauty

If beauty were an ocean many would gladly drawn in it. Such is the powerful grip of beauty. It can bewitch the most powerful and render him weak. What exactly is beauty? How to define it? Why are we so addicted to it?

For years, philosophers debated the topic, and marveled at the power it holds. It is able to weaken one’s resistance, increase one’s happiness and appease an aching heart. Confucius once said, I have not seen one who loves virtue as he loves beauty. How many have died for beauty versus a noble cause?

Kant believes that in order to judge beauty one must experience it without any emotion or interest. In modern times, this theory was challenged because as it turned out, humans are deeply influenced by their social environment and culture. We incorporate the variations of our exposure and social interactions in our aesthetic preferences. It doesn’t only define our interpretation of beauty but also our understanding. That is why, certain concepts, are hard to grasp by those who never experienced it nor witnessed it. Perhaps that is why we borrow the words of others, copying their poetry without a shred of belief in what we write.

Exposure is key, we tend to associate certain experiences to things, thus the positive or negative connotation influences what we consider beautiful.

Scientists studying the brain during peak aesthetic experiences found that the idle state of the brain, the Default Mode Network, lights up when in presence of beauty.

In an experiment called “I Know What I Like: Stability of Aesthetic Preference” conducted on Alzheimer patients revealed that people are able to sustain their preferences despite their condition.

The absence of beauty dubs the world a colorless place and makes for a very impoverished life. Whether you believe in Leonardo Da Vinci’s Divine Proportion , the Golden Ratio , or you are fervent believer that it is arbitrary, you must confess that beauty is all about pleasure. It is at the core of the choices we make.

The question now remains, what or who, will be able to trigger our surge of Dopamine, the hormone that moves humans? Some might have a low response to it but others if properly motivated can move mountains and shatter any obstacle for a taste of the coveted.

Reality vs Fantasy

The wave of romance crashes and breaks as it hits the shore of reality. We have been taught, early on, that there is no such thing as fairy tales and some go a step further by blaming Hollywood and Disney for glamorizing true love. A concept so unattainable and rare that it borders the supernatural.

So beyond the glitters and butterflies, beyond the glitz and glamour, you’’ll find the sober reality. With experts advising people to lower their expectations when it comes to love and setting the bar so low that some might consider it offensive to men as it stipulates that they are only capable of so little. However, it is with sigh of relief that one comes to realize that even the darkest sky has the most radiant stars.

You are considered lucky to stumble upon a great romance or better than that: blessed, if you are the protagonist in an exemplary and exceptional love story.

Like gazing at heaven for escape, you listen to the stories of exceptionally lucky individuals who were the object of great infatuation and undying love. The man whose passion ran so deep blazing every obstacle along its way thus turning friendship into love.

The ones who says, and actually means it, “If I can’t have you, I don’t want anyone else”.

It is hard for some to understand such breed of men; it is even harder for others to believe that someone can or would be willing to gamble everything on an unrequited love.  They fail to understand that love is won by extraordinary actions. We are not talking about homewreckers or capricious people who pursue others for the sake of the hunt or people who force their love on another. We are talking about those who without any guarantees bet their years, pour their heart and soul to win the love of their life.

Maybe, Charles Dickens, captured it best in Great Expectations, when he wrote: “Don’t you understand that everything I do, I do it for you? Anything that might be special in me is you”.

A lot of people say “I love you” but how many live-up to the claim? How many write poetry without actually believing the words they scribble on a piece of paper?

True love doesn’t happen at first sight, doesn’t strive in mediocrity, it is so exceptional that it borders the extraordinary.

We often hear of tales of guardian angels. They are the individuals willing to go to the depth of hell to rescue their loved one; who would move mountains, look the devil straight in the eyes without flinching, defy the heavens, for “the one” and only “the one”. They might not be real angels, their wings might not be as white as snow, darkness might run deep in their veins, but without a doubt, their love is immortal, pure, and unsettling.  It is a volcano caught in a tornado.

Legends rise when reality falls, it is on the debris of mediocrity that exceptional lovers stand. No amount of books, seminars, poetry could teach someone how to be a true lover. They might be a breed in extinction but you can find solace in the fact that they still roam earth, somewhere out there.

The New World Post CoronaVirus

As Singer-songwriter John Lennon once said “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” This is precisely what happened to the world as it was struck by the CoronaVirus pandemic. With danger looming around with no imminent end and many speculative scenarios, the assumption that this devastating tragedy will forever change the world becomes very plausible.

The surge of Videoconferencing Applications
Zoom and other videoconferencing applications have proven to be extremely helpful and effective during the epidemic. Not only businesses were able to use these tools to conduct meetings, even news media has resorted to them. News agencies have been able to conduct interviews with doctors and experts via these mediums. Thus this will open up the door to many more similar apps to flood the app-stores.

Accelerated digital transformation
Thanks for the pandemic, businesses, schools, universities and restaurants have realized the importance to gearing up towards becoming digital.  Resorting to e-commerce websites , delivery applications , and online courses have become crucial to any business’ survival.

Live Streaming
The trend of live steaming witnessed a surge in usage. From doing concerts to cooking classes to cycling marathons to gym classes, everything you can think of has been turned into a live streaming opportunity. Thus businesses have realized the importance of live streaming as an effective marketing tool.

Working from Home
Having been forced to let employees work from home during the pandemic, business owners realized that outcome is more important than shifts. As long as the job is getting done, there is no need to keep tabs on employees. Post-CoronaVirus employers have realized that it is all about the bigger picture. In order to focus on what is important time is of the essence thus there is no need for long meetings and presentations.  However with the typical nine-hours workdays no longer existing and the need to be continuously online, bosses will learn to exercise self-control and not takeover their employees’ life, bearing in mind that they are not dealing with a robot whose sole purpose in life is to serve them and their interests. Employees need to allocate quality time for themselves and their family in order not to burnout.

Empowerment
During the pandemic certain employees have proven themselves to be independent and in no need of management, thus employers have realized  that employees handle the business far better than  newly hired managers and consultants.

Frontline Workers
The need to re-evaluate the importance of frontline employees becomes imminent as they proved themselves to be essential during the pandemic.

 Hygiene Practices
If Coronavirus has taught us anything, it is the power of good hygiene practices. With restaurants implementing rigorous hygiene practices, this will become a permanent part of their operations:
– Washing hands repeatedly.
– Wearing gloves and a mask when handling food.
– Giving sick-leave to any mildly sick employee.
– Disinfecting the kitchen and space.

Traveling
After Coronavirus, according to paper from Imperial College London  governments will need to turn lockdown measures on and off to keep thing in check. Furthermore, travelers will be needing more than only their passports to travel, some health certificates might be also required.

Automation
Long before the CoronaVirus pandemic hit, experts were speculating that sooner or later robots will replace humans in certain work areas. But with social distancing being demanded, which is suspected to continue, post CoronaVirus , certain businesses will accelerate their use of automation especially in the medical as well as well delivery field.

No matter what the future might bring, we need to go forth. As the poet Patrick Overton, once said, “When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you to stand upon or you will be taught to fly.”