The Pursuit of Happiness at Work

Much like Ulysses , humans are in constant pursuit of happiness; It is the basic drive that keeps them able to perform and survive their hardships.

We spend most of our lives working, secluded, in shared offices, deprived from any kind of freedom, working for the greater good of an employer.

Being emotional creatures, what most bosses fail to understand is that employees do not work for corporations but for people. The army is a prime example of that.

In his seminar on “why leaders eat last”, British author and motivational speaker Simon Sinek, mentioned a soldier, by the name Johnny Bravo, whose devotion was fueled by the certainty that his superiors were as devoted to him as he was to them. He also spoke of captain Swenson who risked his life saving members of his brigade, animated by utter love and care for those he was in charge off. The common denominator between Bravo and Swenson, is not a shared cause but trust and love in one another. The bond between subordinates and their superiors was so strong, that it impacted positively their loyalty and optimized their performance.

This goes to show that the happier people are, in an environment, the more in tune they are with their superior, the more they are willing to give.

The quickest way to demotivate a great performer is to treat him like a regular one, equate him with all the other deadweight within an establishment.

Compliments are pleasant to hear, but as intelligent beings, we tend to focus more on actions rather than words. A boss can praise his subordinates all day, applaud them in public, but all of this means nothing if not translated into actions. If he doesn’t empower, favor, reward and promote his top performers, why would they continue to give their all?  It is naïve to believe that employees are required to be utterly devoted to a boss’s welfare when he doesn’t care about theirs. A salary is a transaction, a duty, not a sign of care.    

Most bosses believe that catering to employees’ wellbeing and feelings is a waste of time. It is all about the bottom-line, keeping their business afloat and growing their fortune. In their opinion, investing time in something unprofitable like employees is futile. After all, they are not in the “feel good” business, as some would put it. To them, staff is just paid labor, replaceable, easy to discard, ponds that they can move around as they please to win in the chess game of business. To most, an employee is their partner in loss but never in gain.

Simon Sinek, once said, “Happy employees ensure happy customers. And happy customers ensure happy shareholders – in that order. It is the leader that sets the tone of his organization, when he behaves like a great parent, who wants to provide his own with great opportunity, education, build their self-confidence, give them the chance to try and fail, all so that they achieve more than they could have imagined themselves”. 

Given that people spend most of their lives working, it is quintessential for them to be happy. They might be able to endure unhappiness for a certain amount of time, but eventually, they will snap, their performance starts to plummet, their attitude changes and the boss loses the opportunity to get the best out of his human resources. As Simon Sinek, once said, it is essential that every manager, strive towards creating a work place in which people feel safe, happy and inspired. In his vision for a better world, it is the collective duty of the leaders of the industry to create such a place for others so that they end up fulfilled.

The Secret Circle

We go through life like Ulysses, lost, unable to find our way back.  Sailing through unchartered waters, not knowing what lies ahead. Blind and oblivious to what might be in stored for us. With odds against us, and storms ahead of us, one has to take a good look at his sail mates.

There are two types of people: Those who make things happen and those who talk the talk but never walk the walk. The talkers are good entertainers, the does are rainmakers, and they are a force of nature. Remember, the more reliable and loyal people you have on board, the more likely you will sail smoothly through life.

The doers are generous by default; they do what they have to, to get you where you need to go. Their priority is to have you deck safely even if they have to fight you to get you there. Results are their compass and the only language they know; they auto-evaluate themselves on this basis. They have learned, long ago, that words and promises are as worthless as those who utter it. That is why they rarely compliment and seldomly promise.  

If making love is proof of physical attraction, trust is a statement of worth and value. Like friendship, it is made of levels. You can trust someone with small matters but not with big ones, and in that lies all the difference. Without utter trust, there can never be a solid relationship of any kind. How will you entrust someone with your life, love, friendship, if, they did not prove themselves worthy!

Furthermore, you need on board, the confidante, the person you seek when you find yourself losing control amidst the storm. That is the kind of person, who does not only listen in silence, motionless, he knows how to handle you and take the pain away. If listening without interacting were of any value, one would talk to the wall. At least, objects can’t betray. The confidante is a good listener but also a soul healer. It is someone who is able to take the pain away with his understanding and response. He subsides the storm and calms the waves. This person actually cares about what you have to say and has general interest in you.

You also need the enthusiast, the one who is always in your corner, always cheering you on, the kind of person who is an awe of things you do because he believes in you. He follows your every move out of genuine interest and care. He is not a dream sabotager, he is quite the contrary, and he doesn’t only support you but finds ways to actually help you succeed.

The constant, is also a great asset. The kind of person who is always on deck. Reliable, present and always in the moment. Focused and relentless, they are the qualities of loyal generous souls.

In the end, the most important questions you need to ask yourself are: Who do you run to when hope is bleak? Who lifts the load off your shoulders when things start weighing you down? And most importantly who makes you happy when nothing does? Remember, it is the easiest thing to make someone smile but it is extremely difficult to make them happy.

If these kinds of people are not around you, don’t despair, you still have yourself. When you have no one to confide in, you’ll realize that the only good listener you really need is: you. Why? Well simply because no one knows and understands you better than yourself. When no one is there to do the lifting, dust yourself off, and go. It is true however, that sailing alone into the big unknown makes things extremely tough, and makes survival difficult, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it is impossible.

Escaping Reality’s Cluth

Humans tend to be escapists by nature, some more than others. Few search for what anchors them whilst others do not deck unless they find their ultimate refuge; their human haven.

Usually commitment-fobs do not like things or places that tie them down by force; they always need to know that they can bail at any time. They usually watch things through if they so choose.

So when being forced into an environment or situation they despise, they become emotionally drained and often shutdown.

You can easily spot escapists as they always seek to sit near a window and they often gaze outside in a desperate attempt to free their mind from the people surrounding them. It is their mental attempt to mute those around them and walk away at will.

Athenian philosopher, Plato , once described ideas to be similar to fluttering birds in the brain. As we know, birds fly away when sensing danger or in the midst of chaos. They would never settle unless there is calmness and a prominent sense of security. Staring out the window offers such an opportunity.

Escapists live the moment when it is worth savoring not when they find themselves prisoners of circumstances. Like those in jail, escapists long for escape, not for lack of freedom, but because of their inability to leave in certain circumstances. They would not do that, if they were in an environment they enjoy or in the company of someone who amuses them or procures them positive feelings.  

They go inwards when the situation starts to feel dull and constraining. Just like commitment fobs, they dread doing a fatal mistake that would cost them their happiness. They have no problem staying fateful nor fear relationships but the thought of being trapped against their will, or constrained to do what would break their soul, renders them nervous. For example, in their eyes, picking the wrong spouse would be far worth than a prison life sentence.    

Escaping is a survival mechanism that helps people stay alive when endangered. There are many forms of escaping emotionally and mentally, some dream, others walk-away, read, watch TV, listen to music..etc.

You surely have heard someone experiencing a happy moment say that they dread sleeping, fearing to realize that it was all a dream. Same thing goes for escapists; they would never phase out if they find themselves in a pleasurable moment and environment.

Escapists need time to recharge when they are in presence of people or situations that drain them. If the soul warmth they seek can’t be found around them, their only option is turning inwards. They are their own salvation if there is no hero around. They will standup and dust-off when no guardian angels are there to do the lifting for them. They hold their ground as strong as a tower looms through the drizzle facing winter storms. They zone out escaping through a window, as their eyes see a different world while they hear the sounds of their thoughts as they resonate like church bells in their minds.

The Golden Entourage

Some people bring the best in you whereas others the worst. The world might not revolve around you and you are far from being the center of the universe, however it is always wise to surround yourself with supportive, resourceful and result oriented people. Why fill your life-slots with deadweights or part-timers?! They will only take space that would be better filled by someone useful.

It is neither about: kindness nor wealth nor success in life. You have people with great jobs and salaries that are as stingy as could be thus are a pest to be around; you have good people at heart that only know how to talk yet can never serve you in anything worth the wait. Therefore, it is  simply about personality.

Pick those who push you to be the best version of yourself; those who will cheer you on to the finish-line, those who know you extremely well. They are the ones who want you to look fancy, act powerful and reach your full potential. They don’t only coach you or show you the way, they open doors for you. To reach you, one would have to go through them.

This kind of people always find a way, they are relentless, they achieve rather than make believe. Keep the talkers at bay, they are not made of a lasting material, they are merely “visitors” in your world. Achievers are generous and fun, they are far from being boring, they constantly surprise you, and always rise to the occasion. Most importantly, they do not offer moral support; they fix whatever is causing you moral distress. Simply because they despise words, they rather take actions.

Perfection is hard to achieve, it is merely impossible to cross path with someone who could fit all your requirements, however some people have flaws that are worth putting up with. Some imperfections like shadiness or stinginess are not tolerable regardless of the outcome but others are totally worth tolerating for the greater benefit they bring to your life.

Love Caught On Fire

Soaring and exhilarating as it rages through one’s veins, blazing like ravaging fire, consuming everything on its path such is passion: love intensified to the extent of awaking all one’s senses.

It is perhaps the most adrenaline-charged emotion ever experienced by a human being. The term implies a fondness mixed with romance and lust.

Passion can’t strive where there is no admiration and physical attraction, not even love can.

When a tornado meets a volcano, the spark that ensue is passion. Their love for one another is unquenchable, their desire insatiable, they drown in each others eyes. It is obvious, in the way they brush against each other, and in their smile.

The minute that they are together, the world seems to fade away, silently into nothing.  No matter how toxic or painful it gets, neither can walk away, they are hostages of a love caught on fire.

According to French philosopher, art critic, and writer Denis Diderot, “passion is an inclination, desire and aversion carried to a certain degree of intensity as to inhibit all practice of personal freedom, a state in which the soul is in some sense rendered passive”.

Passion is only a two seats power-ride. According to Ph.D Susan Krauss Whitbourne, it withers and dies once kids and marital duties start creeping into the relationship.

Passion is full of life, once caged it dies of boredom, strangled by dullness and mediocrity.

Expert Elaine Hatfield and her collaborator Susan Sprecher, developed a scale to measure passion. The intense emotion has three measurable facets:

1. The Cognitive component: Being very preoccupied with your partner, wanting to know him completely and idealizing the relationship.
2. The Emotional component: Being, extremely, attracted to your partner. Being impacted to the core when things are going well, ravaged when things are bad, and seeking an everlasting union.
3. The Behavioral component: Trying relentlessly to know how your partner feels; always helping him, constantly doing him favors and being physically close to him.

Sometimes passion is so strong that it ensues pain, because emotions are flaring, self-restraint is not part of the equation and abandonment is not even an option.  However, one can’t deny that despite it all, it makes one feel alive.

Hostage perhaps of a love that burns so strong that it can destroy both partners yet, truth be told that if they were to die, they would be the only ones who truly have lived.

In The Grips of Beauty

If beauty were an ocean many would gladly drawn in it. Such is the powerful grip of beauty. It can bewitch the most powerful and render him weak. What exactly is beauty? How to define it? Why are we so addicted to it?

For years, philosophers debated the topic, and marveled at the power it holds. It is able to weaken one’s resistance, increase one’s happiness and appease an aching heart. Confucius once said, I have not seen one who loves virtue as he loves beauty. How many have died for beauty versus a noble cause?

Kant believes that in order to judge beauty one must experience it without any emotion or interest. In modern times, this theory was challenged because as it turned out, humans are deeply influenced by their social environment and culture. We incorporate the variations of our exposure and social interactions in our aesthetic preferences. It doesn’t only define our interpretation of beauty but also our understanding. That is why, certain concepts, are hard to grasp by those who never experienced it nor witnessed it. Perhaps that is why we borrow the words of others, copying their poetry without a shred of belief in what we write.

Exposure is key, we tend to associate certain experiences to things, thus the positive or negative connotation influences what we consider beautiful.

Scientists studying the brain during peak aesthetic experiences found that the idle state of the brain, the Default Mode Network, lights up when in presence of beauty.

In an experiment called “I Know What I Like: Stability of Aesthetic Preference” conducted on Alzheimer patients revealed that people are able to sustain their preferences despite their condition.

The absence of beauty dubs the world a colorless place and makes for a very impoverished life. Whether you believe in Leonardo Da Vinci’s Divine Proportion , the Golden Ratio , or you are fervent believer that it is arbitrary, you must confess that beauty is all about pleasure. It is at the core of the choices we make.

The question now remains, what or who, will be able to trigger our surge of Dopamine, the hormone that moves humans? Some might have a low response to it but others if properly motivated can move mountains and shatter any obstacle for a taste of the coveted.

The Real Disruptors

“Sometimes people deserve more than the truth, they deserve to have their faith rewarded”. As you let this quote resonate with you, think of how dull the world would be without the admirable heroes, the die-hard lovers and the beautifully bold rebels that cross the paths of mere mortals.  Contrary to the rest of us, they forever live in the minds and dreams of generations to come. They are confined neither in space nor in time. They might have never done it for the fame, nor thought of themselves as extraordinary, but it’s that selfless tenaciousness and undying love that give them an edge like no other.

In a life losing its magic and glitter, we now and then hear of stories that reignite our faith in true love, humanity and boldness. In a colorless world where everything blends and only the peculiar stands out, come the stories of the exemplary few to add a touch of hope in our dreary lives.

What we can learn from the lover who made the impossible possible, the bold who succeeded against all odds, the exemplary who defiantly smiled in the face of temptation, that it takes a particular breed of men to rise above all others. They might be different people yet they all share one particularity: their selfless drive. Whether it was a love affair that they are willing to sacrifice heaven and earth for, whether it’s protecting others that they are willing to lay-down their life for, it all comes down to a bold strategically well thought of motivation. The motives might vary but the m.o. is always the same.

These people before their actions where known, where perhaps considered ordinary. However, truth be told, they never were. It takes a lot of effort and boldness to reach such a level. They are the few who relentlessly knock down obstacles, who rise when all others fall, who observe when others are too self-absorbed to do so, who listen beyond words, they are the insightful, the intuitive, the smart, the bold, the real version of guardian angels. They might be rebellious, not even pure at heart, yet they are disciplined in action, grandiose in their willingness to succeed in attaining the lover they desire, the cause they honor, the humanity they cherish. Nothing is mundane about a hero, a true lover, a righteous person.

They may walk among us shielded from our sight, yet if we are lucky, we catch a glimpse of their shadow as their boldness comes to light.

They are the shooting stars in a lifeless sky. They inspire and charm us, as we whisper their stories like silent prayers, hoping that one day we’ll be lucky enough to be their love interest or their quest. They are the real disruptors of the world not the greedy machiavelists who roam the world of business. Unlike those, they don’t measure success with greed, notoriety and fame. They don’t seek the applause of many, but one, and that makes all the difference in the world.

Venice of the Netherlands

Venice has been widely recognized as one of the most romantic cities in the world. However, tucked away in the Netherlands, you will find its rival Giethoorn, a car-free village in the northeastern Dutch province of Overijssel, known for its boat-filled waterways, footpaths, bicycle trails and centuries-old thatched-roof houses.

Giethoorn has several nicknames, like Little Venice (or) Venice of the North, as a testament to its charm and grace. It will not take you long to fall in-love with this village which gained notoriety in 1958, when the Dutch filmmaker Bert Haanstra made his famous comedy Fanfare there.

Giethoorn has over 150 bridges and is a very popular destination for tourists as it offers the perfect rural experience.  In a haven, full of lakes, reed beds and forests, the picturesque village with its thatched roofs farmhouses and characteristic wooden bridges, is a magnet for those seeking an escape from their everyday life. In the old part of the village, transport is solely by boat over its many canals.

Giethoorn has also established a culinary reputation for itself. It is home to various excellent restaurants that are sure to offer guests gastronomic enjoyment. Mostly situated at the water’s edge, restaurants, such as the 2 Michelin stars De Lindenhof, have everything to satisfy a curious food palate.

Giethoorn, is a must visit as it has all the making of a memorable adventure.

The Stunning Pink Island of the Sea

Tucked in the middle of the sea, far from the hassles of everyday life, lies Budelli, a haven with a perfect patch of sand surrounded by the great blue, where you can relax and gaze upon the beauty of an island that has no equal in the Mediterranean Sea.

Budelli is an island in the Maddalena archipelago, near the strait of Bonifacio in northern Sardinia, Italy. It is part of the La Maddalena National Park.  Birthed from dreams and fantasies, in the southeastern part of the island, lies Spiaggia Rosa (“Pink Beach”) . The gorgeous pinkish sand, which owes its typical color to microscopic fragments of corals and shells such as Miriapora Truncata and Miniacina Miniacea, is a thing of beauty. So much so that it has been the focus on many movies such as Michelangelo Antonioni’s 1964 film Il Deserto Rosso (The Red Desert).

Budelli is one of four ‘uninhabited’ islands in the Maddalena archipelago: the others are Caprera, Spargi, and Razzoli.  In 1994, the Italian government had to permanently close the site off to visitors and leave it in the care of Michele Ardu, due to the crowds disturbing the coral beach.

The island was previously looked after by, Mauro Morandi, who’s failing catamaran lead him to the island more than three decades ago.  Mauro Morandi, spent around 28 years, alone on the island. In an interview with National Geographic, he said, “What I love the most is the silence. The silence in winter when there isn’t a storm and no one is around, but also the summer silence of sunset.”

Budelli has a “Hotel California” effect to it, you can check-in but you can never leave. Its stunning rose-colored beach is captivating and worth gold, that is why due to incidences of sand theft, it was sealed-off from visitors.

The Wood Whisperer

Woodcarver Geppetto has found his match in real life with Italian artist Peter Demetz who has a unique gift of turning wood into flesh.

Peter Demetz’s wooden sculptures are so life-like that one cannot help but admire his sense of perfection, attention to particularities, and his mastery of human anatomy. Peter Demetz’s wooden art pieces look like paintings done with warm wooden color with special attention to tactile appearance and details like the creases of clothing, body curves, and strands of hair.

Peter Demetz’s life-like artistry, and very much life-like is stunningly emotional. It spotlights those who are always looking elsewhere, in the horizon, as if longing to escape their present.

That is why his art pieces rarely ever face the viewer – their backs are turned, and their sight is either fixed afar or on the ground. As most tortured souls, always looking afar, gazing dreamily in search of escape, comfort and hope elsewhere.

As if photographed during their daily lives, Peter Demetz captures that vulnerable moment when  sadness overtakes them, which he depicts by their posture. His sculptures take center stage while the background fades away.

Like a seasoned poet, Peter Demetz captures beautifully the sadness of those who might be present among us but their hearts are elsewhere, those who might want to disappear but in reality all they really want is to be found.